Bored

I am bored!!!!!!

It’s 10.50 in the evening and I am bored shitless.  There was a storm passing overhead – thunder, lightening and a bit of rain but it was a non-event.  Even nature can’t be bothered.

A few minutes ago I found myself talking to Maggie.  It’s exactly a month today since she left this part of her journey and the grief for me is still so very raw.

Maggie’s ashes are in a box to the left of where I’m currently sitting.  It bothers me that she’s still in there – or rather her ashes are still in there.  I want so very much to let her free – but no place seems deserving of her.

The thought has crossed my mind to keep her ashes in that box until I die – then put our ashes together and release them into where ever the fuck the releaser decides.  Flush us down the toilet for all I care because the reality is once our bodies have ceased to work our energy finds a new source.  What we leave behind is for recycling.  So long as Maggie and I recycle together.

Yes, my grief for Maggie leaving this life continues to hurt.  The last few paragraphs have helped me realise this fact.  Whatever I do, including writing this blog post – even including setting up this web-site blog post to inform you all that I’m bored isn’t helping with the grief.

At the same time my thoughts are focused on someone I care for greatly.  She is having a shit few days – but will get through with her usual determination though because she doesn’t just have one hell of a great heart, she IS one hell of a huge heart.

Anyway – back to boredom.  Netflix offers nothing.  Stan offers nothing.  Foxtel is not connected at the moment but the AFL is about to begin so it will be accessible in less than two weeks.  I doubt I’d want to watch anything on there anyway so Foxtel offers me nothing even though it isn’t offering me anything in reality.

Music?  Can’t decide.

You Tube maybe?  Can’t be bothered.  Things were so bad that earlier I tried to watch a religious viewpoint regarding after death stuff.  Boring!  The moment I hear ‘In the Beginning’ – or variations to thus – it’s like “take me now!”

Should I post this ramble tonight in case I die?????  Give you all a heads up – you know….for goodness sake DON’T mock Genesis!!!  

What do I do then to attempt to cure my boredom?  I grab my iPad and write a blog post about how bored I am – so bored in fact that I decided to write a blog post about how bored I am in the hope it’d help the boredom.

It didn’t.

Frik – this is my first Wobbly Boots Duke post!!!

4 thoughts on “Bored

  1. Yes. Bored out of my brain. Getting it off my chest helped though. Another bonus – I discovered one can mock Genesis and not be struck down overnight. In the Beginning is all I know from the Bible – to be struck down for mocking the one thing I know would have been a bit rough. Correction, I do know a couple of commandments.

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  2. I’ve actually found a few good series on Netflix . . . if you want some suggestions 😉 I still have the ashes of my cat who died nearly 20 years ago in a little box. I never thought about what will happen to them when it’s my turn to check-out, so thanks for your thoughts to further fuel my own rumination 😉

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    1. I stumble upon Netflix things every now and then and get into them. Just finished watching a SOAP! Chasing Life. Just what one requires whilst grieving. It’s finished though grrrr.

      Glad I’ve given you a nice thought as to how to include your pussy cat when you leave. I’m sure that you’d probably choose better than going the sewer route though hah

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